Why Lacking Confidence is Bullsh*t

Posted on August 22, 2012 in Life Coaching

A lot of people say that they lack confidence. It is probably one of the major challenges that most people say they face in one area of their life or another. No matter how knowledgeable or skilled you are, if you say that you lack confidence it will be very difficult for you to succeed. Even if you do happen to succeed, you probably won’t give yourself enough credit for your success to enjoy it as much as you should.

But I want you to think about confidence in a different way for a minute. What if we didn’t look at confidence as something that we either have or don’t have? What if confidence is just the direction we are moving in?

The real question isn’t whether you have confidence or not. The real question is, are you confident that you will succeed, or confident that you will fail? When people say that they “lack confidence”, what they really mean is that they lack the confidence that they will succeed. They are abundantly confident that they will fail in those same situations.

So how can you shift a feeling of confidence that you will fail, to the confidence that you will succeed? By doing a reality check, and basing your decision off of the resources and skills that you already possess.

Get Your Facts Straight

A lot of the time, when we play out scenarios in our heads, we always seem to focus on the worst possible thing that could happen. It is even a common expression that people use when contemplating a situation: “What’s the worst that could happen?”

By doing this, we start to believe what we imagine; that the worst-case scenario could happen to us, and since the worst case scenario often involves failing, our confidence begins to lean towards failure.

Often the worst-case scenario that we build up in our minds has little to do with the facts of our current skills and resources, and everything to do with our irrational fears.

I think a much more intelligent question to ask would be…

What’s the BEST that could happen?

When you begin to imagine the best-case scenario, certain things start to happen in your mind. You think about where you are now, and you start to add the resources and skills that you already possess to this image. Suddenly with each resource and skill that you add, the image changes and progresses until you feel so good and imagine so much success, that you choose to lean towards the confidence that you will succeed.

The funny thing about this is that because the best-case scenario is often based on the resources and skills that we already possess, it is much more likely to happen than the worst-case scenario.

Choose Wisely

Now that you know that you have the option to choose between asking yourself what is the worst that could happen, or what is the best that could happen, it is completely in your control. By asking yourself what the worst-case scenarios are, you will be choosing to feel confident that you will fail. When you choose to ask yourself what the best-case scenario is, you are making the conscious decision to feel confident that you will succeed.

I personally think that feeling confident that you will succeed is a much more intelligent decision, but again, the choice is now yours ;)

comments: 2 »

Comments ( 2 )

  1. ReplySteven Carmosino

    Love the article. Reminds me of an acronym that I first heard from Zig Ziglar. FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Keep up the good work!

    • ReplyKen McClinton

      I love that! Thanks for sharing it!

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