The One Guaranteed Way to Stop Feeling Lost
“I feel lost.” I hear this a lot when I ask people what their challenges are, and even sometimes just in every day conversation. After someone tells me this they usually explain what they mean by saying that they don’t really know where they are going in life or what their next move is supposed to be. When I hear this, I notice one big problem with their explanation. By saying that they don’t know what their next move is “supposed” to be, it implies that they are waiting for someone or something to tell them what to do in life, and that there is a pre-determined path that they are supposed to follow.
In order to be truly happy and avoid feeling lost we must choose our own direction in life, and move forward accordingly.
How Is It “Supposed” To Be?
As we grow up, and observe what we see around us, on television and in movies, we begin to form a picture in our head of how life is supposed to be. We envision such things as what kind of job we will have, who we will marry, and where we will live. The problem is that this picture doesn’t necessarily represent what we want in life, it is just a reflection of what we think is supposed to happen. If that wasn’t enough, our friends, family, and society are kind enough to paint us another picture to add to the gallery, which outlines where we are supposed to be right now based on their standards and expectations.
Trying to match these pictures to our reality can be very difficult, and most of the time, even if we successfully match our reality to these pictures, we are still unhappy. Our unhappiness falls squarely on one major problem: It isn’t our picture. As long as we are busy running around trying to make our lives what everyone else expects them to be, or what we imagined they would be as a child, we will never have the time to focus our energy on creating a picture of how we want our life to be.
How Do You Want It To Be?
An important step that we can take in order to get clear about the direction we want our life to move in is to let go of the pictures that others have painted for us and ones that we have created of how it is “supposed to be”. Recognize that they are not what you really want for yourself, and no matter how hard you work towards them and how close you get to them, they will never make you happy. What you want for yourself matters much more than what others want for you. If those around you really care about you, what they want most is for you to be happy.
After you let go of those picture you will be able to refocus and work on creating a new picture for yourself that details what you really want out of life. This can seem like a daunting task, but what I have found very helpful is to figure out what you want in each area individually and then combine them to create one very clear picture. This provides you with the opportunity the see how each area will affect the other areas of your life and allows you to find the right balance.
For example, if you want to be extremely successful at your job, and you plan on working 70-hour weeks, you can see how that might affect your personal life and adjust it accordingly. This picture will be a crystal clear reflection of what you really want in life, and will do a great job of revealing the person you really are.
Choose Your Direction
Having a clear picture of what you want is so important because it will motivate you to work towards it every day, keep you going when times get tough, and be your compass whenever you start to feel lost.
Letting go of what others want for you and understanding and acknowledging what you want for yourself are truly the keys to stop feeling lost. Choosing a direction in life means that you are the creator of your own map, and as a result, you will never be lost.
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